We were living in sunny San Diego, California in the late 80’s/early 90’s. We were frequent customers of the Thrifty’s Drug Store on Palm Avenue in Imperial Beach. Thrifty’s had the most amazing old-fashioned ice cream cones. Just thinking of the place makes my mouth water. A double dip Butter Pecan, please?
One day my husband Gary and I stopped to get ice cream with our two oldest children at the time, Shawn and Michaeli (Mikaylee).
To this day, I do not remember my exact words to the young man behind the counter that served us. He was a dark haired young man of a medium build probably in his early 20’s with dark wavy hair. I recall being upbeat and sharing pleasantries with him. I encouraged him like I try to do with most everyone I come into contact with in varying places of business. There wasn’t anything I said particularly unusual, as I recollect.
One thing I do remember vividly is the shock in his voice and facial expressions from the simple words of kindness, and in turn, my shock to his response. I noticed he seemed taken back by the kindness and didn’t seem to know how to respond to me as we conversed. He hung his head low as he made our four ice cream cones, never once looking up. When he finally made eye contact with me, with a deer-in-the-head-lights look he said, “Please forgive me? No one has EVER been THIS NICE TO ME.” NO ONE…EVER, I questioned inwardly? In his 20-some years of life? How is that even possible?
I was stunned. Shocked. Utterly speechless.
I pondered his words and the look he gave me. His facial expressions and his words ran over and over in my mind like a recording for days, months, and obviously years. I have reminisced often about it.
That day I walked away with a new and life changing perspective that hit me like a ton of bricks.
There are people in this world who live in households in which verbal abuse is constant and brutal. People that are so ravaged by the negative words of others, they are torn down to a literal nub, leaving them so low, they have little to no self esteem. This was obviously the case with this poor, young man.
My heart has broken for this young man again and again when I am reminded of him, and the many others that are enduring painful words in abusive situations.
Folks, the world can be a very dark and cruel place. The abused are notorious for abusing others. In many cases, it’s all they know. The pattern continues until someone determines,“Enough is Enough!” They CHOOSE to break the cycle of abuse that has followed their family line for years. They draw a line in the sand, and simply say—NO MORE. In doing this, they change the course of history. They CHOOSE not to allow this harmful negative pattern to continue.
Do you understand the dramatic impact our words can have on others, in the everyday places we frequent such as the grocery store, the post office, the bank, and our work place?
We often do not know how people live or what kind of circumstances they are in. Their situations at home very well could be similar to this young man’s. They could be undergoing harsh scrutiny at home and be literally ravaged by abusive words just like my young friend at Thrifty’s Drug Store in San Diego.
I’ll leave you with a few words from a quote by an unknown author that has impacted my life in huge measures. I really try to make this a daily reality:
Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. BE KIND. ALWAYS!
