Most of you have probably read the blog post by Jesse Woltz I posted. If you haven’t read it, please go back and read it. You may not understand some things here, if you don’t.
I promised you all Part Two! Jesse’s post on Facebook, “Let Them,” rocked my world as it did many. I felt compelled to send her a message to ask permission to repost it, giving her credit.
If you’ve lived any length of time, and experienced a good deal or “Life,” you will totally relate to the “LET THEM THEORY”!
In our culture, and now more than ever, we are surrounded by toxic individuals, whether in our own families, our friends or even acquaintances. Maybe they’re toxic and you don’t even know it. A person who’s toxic will leave you feeling drained around them. It’ almost like you need a recovery time after spending time with them. They take the very life out of you!
Toxic people are also notoriously judgmental. You can immediately read subtle or blatant hints: The eye roll, the disapproving look, comments, etc…
***You definitely don’t want to share any intimate details of your life with this person as many are gossips. Keep your conversation light and move on.
We’ve all know Negative Nancys or Nates. They struggle to find positivity in anything or anyone. They look for the worst in every situation. Seeing the silver lining in virtually any situation is impossible for them. They are immersed in their problems and have not the slightest desire to change their current situation.
***We can either cut them out of our lives, or make a conscious effort to counteract the negative with positive remarks. If at all possible, you may want to limit your time with them, especially if you struggle with depression
Then there are the Narcissists! Oh Lordy…. The N.a.r.c.i.s.s.i.s.t.s! Life is all about them all of the freakin’ time. They do all of the talking and all of the taking! It’s impossible to get a word in edgewise. The are typically know-it-alls. If you disagree with them, dung hits the fan. They are experts at putting others down to bolster their own self images.
***Either tune them out or politely move on. If you feel the relationship, may be remedied, gently share your thoughts and feelings with them regarding how their actions negatively affect you and that healthy relationships have a give-and-take aspect. If they aren’t willing to hear you out, “Hasta La Vista!”.
They are classic Manipulators. They know how to take advantage and manipulate every situation to their benefit.
***Set boundaries. For instance, if they ask to borrow money from you, warn them that if you lend them money and they don’t pay it back, you will not lend to them again. Don’t back down if they haven’t payed off what they previously borrowed and under no circumstances, don’t cave to their manipulation.
Gladys Kravitz—(The Gossip from Dennis the Menace):
***Tell them you don’t care to hear their gossip. Call it out! And deliberately change the conversation to something of a positive note.
Attention Seekers:
***Do not react to their ploys to impress you. That’s the best way to nip this behavior in the bud.
One Sided Relationships:
If you’ve ever been in a relationship where you do all of the work, it’s absolutely exhausting.
***Express your need to be in a two-sided relationship where both works at it. For instance, if you’re always the one planning outings, make it clear to them, they need to plan the next one.
Relationships that Drain:
This one is all-encompassing and actually the picture of toxicity! Relationships like this often monopolize our time.
***Perhaps suggest other relationships to meet their needs if you feel overwhelmed.
Though there is a sea of people that will get upset with us, judge us and misunderstand us, we do not have to pacify them nor prove ourselves. We’ve all been gossiped about, ignored and not liked. Well known author and speaker, Marilyn Hickey says, “Not everyone is going to think you’re the best thing since Homemade Bread and Butter!”. And…that’s okay. No sense getting into a peeing contest with those who always think they’re right. Like Jesse says, people are going to not like us, doubt us, not speak to us and that’s okay. It’s their problem. NOT OURS!
