I have this cute little brown-battery-operated-box that you turn the switch on and then tap, and it immediately starts shaking as if a little man is inside. He taps on the walls of the inside of the box loudly over and over again while shouting, “Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me…can you let me out of here?” It amused me so much, I bought two of them in case something happens to one of them. At the time, I had intended on using them at speaking events I’ve done for various groups. (I think I may have bought them at “Spencers.” Not even sure if that is a store anymore? I’ve had them for over 20 years)!
I probably don’t need to tell you where my mind goes every time I hear this cute little voice asking to be let out of the box he got stuffed into! The world, organizations, churches, friends, family all try to stuff us into their nice, neat little boxes from time to time. It’s normally due to their own ideologies, mindsets, and restraints that they’ve picked up in childhood, from a parent, a church or a scripture taken out of context. I find perfectionists can be guilty of attempting the stuffing ritual. In addition, those who are close-minded or have stringent mindsets are often culprits. If we live within certain mindsets or have had the influence of perfectionism drilled into us, it’s very easy for us to try to stuff others into the same box we are in.
Well, I hate to be crass, but they best not be tryin’ that with me! I’ll fight them tooth and nail. I won’t be gettin’ in their stuffy little boxes or succumbing to their list of rules. Listen, I consider myself a Christian and there are standards written in God’s word I try my best to abide by with God’s help and strength, but there are plenty, and I do mean PLENTY of—MAN MADE RULES CONTRIVED FROM GOD ONLY KNOWS WHERE—that I’m not having any part of. And I hope you aren’t either! Suffocating is for the birds!
What about you? Has anyone tried to stuff you into their box lately? I personally find that atmosphere so stifling and stuffy. Just out of curiosity, how does it make you feel when you get around someone like this? You know the one. They just have an err about them. Overly Opinionated, Know-It-Alls, Judgmental, Stiff, Regimented, Organized, etc… (Now, before you jump to any conclusions, organization is a good thing, especially at home. I myself like to know where things are)! I’m not talking about that…(I’m talking organized people that are super staunch and operate in some of the above character traits)!
I once asked to borrow a kleenex from someone and when they pulled it out of their purse, it was hand folded. Oh Oh, I mumbled under my breath. This very well could be a SIGN! Tread lightly girl, tread lightly, I told myself.
I love giving gifts to my friends when I’m financially able to. One of my favorite things to do is wrap packages super cute and pretty. (I often offer Gift Wrapping when individuals purchase from Carole Dianne Designs.com! It’s an awesome perk and besides, it’s something I ENJOY IMMENSELY)! My Gifts may include creating a wrapping that is topped with lotsa glam and glitter. (They don’t call me the Bling Queen for nothing)! I couldn’t have possibly been more excited about this adorable bath time beauty set that I put together for my friend. I found just the right box for it, with none other than matching tissue paper. I wanted every detail to have an impact. And then I wrapped it and bound it with the prettiest glitzy ribbon I could find. (It happened to be PINK GLITTER RIBBON). I was a little more than excited to give this gorgeous inside and out gift…UNTIL…U-N-T-I-L she fumbled with the ribbon and glitter started going every where. You’d have thought I committed a FREAKIN’ CARDINAL SIN! She ranted and raved, complained and complained and complained some more! It was everything short of a damn conniption fit. She was so focused on the glitter, I barely got two words out of her about the beautiful gift I’d painstakingly taken the time to put together for her inside the box. (The wonderfully scented Bath Beads filled with Olive Oil, the Colorful Fizzy Bath Ball, the Yummy Smelling Bubble Bath, the Darling Pink Bath Pillow and the Exfoliating Gloves)! The whole evening was spent complaining about the mess the glitter made. No mention of the darling gift! I wanted to crawl into a hole and cry.
Life is full of lessons and I learned a big one here. I’ll likely never give this person another gift. That whole ordeal was so hurtful. I also am not likely to use the glitter ribbon again when wrapping a package (just to save the humiliation, but wait a darned minute, I shouldn’t HAVE TO feel that way)! On second thought, maybe I will. This situation must be redeemed. It could go the opposite way as well: The next person getting my gift just might be so excited to have gotten a thoughtful gift, that they don’t give a hoot about “a little glitter” or give it a second thought. Glitter can be brushed away. Broken hearts take time to heal. Hurtful words and actions are painful and aren’t immediately forgotten.
(THIS WHOLE ORDEAL WAS ANOTHER SIGN TO TREAD LIGHTLY)!
The box on this lesson, was YOU DANG SURE BETTER GET INTO MY BOX AND NEVER, EVER USE GLITTER RIBBON AGAIN TO WRAP MY GIFT OR YOU WILL HEAR ABOUT IT UNTIL THE DANG COWS COME HOME!
Here’s another one I’ve heard over and over: It’s all about how we dress at church or other events: Speakers should dress only one notch above what others will likely wear at the church or event. If you walk into church and notice everyone dressing down in jeans and shorts then—you should do the same. After all, you don’t want to stand out or draw attention to yourself. If no one wears jewelry—you shouldn’t either. If not a single soul wears hats, you darned sure should not don one either! If everyone in this church or event goes to the end of town and jumps off the bridge into the Mississippi River, you should too!
This my friends is an UGLY BOX. If you choose, succumb….but be prepared to suffocate inside of the box. Be prepared to be stifled. Be prepared to be ushered into apathy and complacency and grow increasingly stagnant! I love, love, LOVE this quote by Marianne Williamson and whether you’re a Christian or not, it’ll breathe a fresh breath of God’s Love into You: “You are a Child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. ~There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. ~We were all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our PRESENCE AUTOMATICALLY LIBERATES OTHERS.”
So, there you have it. The choice is literally ours. We choose whether or not we gladly jump into others boxes in hopes of pleasing those around us, or we turn, stand firm and/or walk the other way! One more little ditty and I’ll end this blog…I used to suffer from the Chameleon Syndrome. Anyone relate? I wanted acceptance and would do whatever I had to do to get it. I knew all of the right words. How to hob-nob with the wealthy, how to talk to a homeless man on the streets, and everyone in between. I knew how to FIT IN. I’d change whatever color I had to in order to blend in with whatever surroundings I found myself in. Whew! All of that striving and changing colors practically knocked the wind out of me. When I jumped out of the Chameleon Box, sure it felt foreign at first, but the LIBERATION eventually came…as I’ve practiced over and over again being ME! And I sure hope you will start practicing being YOU!
Why not wear what you want wherever you go. (I’m not talking being extreme and wearing a formal dress or tux to Non-formal event. But wear the dang hat—EVEN IF NO ONE ELSE DOES. Wear your bright colors EVEN IF NO ONE ELSE DOES. Wear your jewelry EVEN IF NO ONE ELSE DOES! Be 100% unequivocally YOU and do not give a second thought to what others around you are wearing. Chances are, some LIBERATION IS GOING TO HAPPEN!
