When a turtle senses danger they automatically retreat into their shells for self protection. All of us tend to self protect when we sense an environment or a person is unsafe. Other times we put up walls to protect ourselves. There are times in our lives when every one of us, for our own good and our health, have to gradually shed our shells to explore new horizons and really begin living life.
My hubby has always been the quiet, reserved one in our relationship. He’s a classic Phlegmatic, if you follow personalities. Typically, he’s just more quiet and reserved than I am. Being a classic Sanguine, I’m naturally bubbly, outgoing and a genuine people person. One day we got to talking about why it’s so easy for me to talk to people verses him?
Well aside from the fact that I’m “naturally”outgoing, I think anyone can train themselves to engage others in conversation, even if it’s uncomfortable at first. (Particularly for a Phlegmatic!)
As a Life Coach, I teach people that want to change in some area of their lives—to start small. Getting our feet wet gradually is just more palatable and comfortable when we’re starting something new.
In Gary’s case, I suggested that when situations presented themselves to him, he should start by making small talk with people. We talked about how the majority of all people love to talk about themselves. So taking opportunities to engage with people and draw them out is key. We can start by asking them questions about their lives and then sincerely listen to their answers so we can ask more questions to keep the conversation going.
People just naturally light up when we take an interest in them. It truly is a JOY to experience! It’s so easy to live in our own little worlds with an “us four and no more” mentality. Life is not all about us. Something magical happens when we show an interest in others, looking beyond ourselves.
My husband has been working on himself lately and his life has changed dramatically. DRAMATICALLY! He’s shed the shell. He’s even gotten a tad bit brazen with people he knows but has felt awkward talking to in the past. 45 years of marriage and I have to say I’m a bit amused… even shocked. (I will go so far as to say, I prob wouldn’t say some of the things he’s said, but one thing I won’t do is discourage or quench this newfound Gary)!
While He was outside putting up Christmas lights he saw our neighbor Mike picking up dog poop.
Without missing a beat, he said, “Mike, my wife taught me a long time ago not to poop outside so I don’t have to pick up after myself.” Mike immediately quipped, “Smart woman!”
He continued….”Now, when you go in your house tonight, make sure you wipe well and flush. I don’t want to see you outside dragging your butt on the ground!”
The first words out of my mouth while simultaneously blushing from embarrassment and laughing so hard I could barely contain myself, was “YOU ACTUALLY SAID THAT?”
OMG! Probably not something I’d be comfortable saying, but one thing I can say is, my husband has shed his shell! He’ll learn a happy medium in time. MAYBE NOT? And if that be the case, guess I’ll be laughing (and blushing) a whole lot more!
